Is it in App Review?
No. It is not waiting behind 14,000 meditation apps.
APPLE DEVICES · ABSOLUTELY NOT
Coming to Apple?No. Never.Next question.
We looked at the garden. The walls were very tall. We went back to building for screens that let us get on with it.
Not plannedNot in reviewNot hiding in TestFlight
NO
TVZZFOR APPLENEVER COMINGWe promise not to make you refresh the App Store.
iPhone?NOPE
iPad?STILL NO
Apple TV?VERY NO
NO
NOT COMING SOONNOT IN TESTFLIGHTNOT WAITING FOR REVIEWNOT COMING SOONNOT IN TESTFLIGHTNOT WAITING FOR REVIEW
A SURPRISINGLY COMPLETE FAQ
How many ways can we say no?
At least four. We checked.
Can I join a waiting list?
You can, but you will be waiting forever. We would rather save you the calendar space.
What about TestFlight?
Also no. There is no secret invite, hidden build or mysterious blue button.
Will asking twice help?
It will improve the joke. It will not change the roadmap.
GOOD NEWS: SCREENS STILL EXIST
Use one of these instead.
Real options, real links and precisely zero imaginary Apple release dates.
ONE LAST TIMENo Apple app.
No Apple app.
Plenty of TVZZ.net.
Need help choosing a compatible route? Talk to the team. Need to ask when the Apple app launches? Please reread the enormous headline.